Mary Sue's Penultimate Journey of Ultimate Destiny
by Haltung
Summary: When Mary Sue shoulders her way into ClichéClan, it seems like clan life isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Can she out the token traitor, find a way to defeat ObviouslyEvilClan single-pawed, and most importantly, get all the attention she deserves? Surely, outshining everyone else can't be THAT hard...
1. The Story Before the Actual Story

**Prologue**

It was a criminally hot day, even for a Sunhigh at Greenleaf. It was so criminally hot that if being "hot" were a crime, the day would have been dragged to the Supreme Court to await sentencing alongside a busload of swimsuit models

But what I am _really_ getting at is: it just so happed that it was a criminally hot day, even for a Sunhigh at Greenleaf.

Never had the turquoise waters of the Lake looked so invitingly at Starstar, out for a romp in the Sunhigh sun. In fact, if the waters were twolegs, that longing glance could so be perceived by any nearby policemen to have come from a streetwalker plying their trade as so to warrant in the arrest of our dear waters for prostitution, and our dear noble leader for utilizing said waters' services (although he would never do so; he was much too noble and a cat to boot).

In short, using the lake as a watering-hole seemed like an extremely seductive option for our thirsty leader, who desperately needed to replenish his moisture levels.

Starstar dipped his large, noble head down into the lakeside, stuck out his large, noble tongue, and took a large sip for water, as suitable as could be for a noble leader. For a moment, he raised his aforementioned noble head and then dipped it back down for more water.

Like I said, it _was_ a criminally hot day, even for a Sunhigh at Greenleaf.

It was then that Starstar's noble corneas reflected the light into his noble retinas which sent the light to his noble brain in the form of electrical impulses so that he was finally able to see what lay reflected in the bubbling pool before him.

It was a _neon green_ cat.

With pink dotted fur.

Normally, cats would not be able to distinguish neon green from any other equally bright shade of green; say, lime green. Even the noble Starstar himself, blessed by all of StarClan (or at least the fifty-three percent that mattered), could not escape the cruel fate nature had mapped out for those of the _Felis Catus_ species. However, the sight of the garish spectre was so invigorating that in an instant, the colour 'neon green' had been sandblasted into the mind of Starstar, and unconsciously, into the minds of every single cat in his Clan.

Starstar reeled backwards from the blow. His noble head spun, his noble retinas felt as though they had been scorched away, his noble jaw dropped, and his noble visage began to take on the look of "catmint addict" rather than "noble leader".

When he had finally recovered from his neon green induced bout of motion sickness, Starstar trusted himself to glance at the psychedelic apparition once more.

The thing was _gone_.

Was it due to the heat of the criminally hot day, even for a Sunhigh at Greenleaf? Or something more sinister that hinted to a future filled with neon green cats and pink dots?

Starstar deliberated on this interesting subject for a grand total of five seconds. Then he turned towards the general direction of camp, propelling himself forward in a sort of trotting gallop (much like an excited racing camel running on a trampoline).

He had to see Bleedingheart.


	2. The Congenial Cats of ClichéClan

**ClichéClan**

**Allegiances:**

**Leader: **Starstar- A majestic golden-brown tabby tom with long fur. He has yellow eyes and curious birthmark on his forehead that is decidedly **not** a star. Also worth noting are his extremely long and luxuriant whiskers.

**Deputy: **Redneck- A muscular red-brown tom with broad shoulders and amber eyes. His intimidating appearance is further enhanced by the large scar on his back.

**Medicine Cat: **Bleedingheart- A Calico tom with large green eyes. His short fur accentuates his scrawny frame.

_**Apprentice:**__ Butthurt-A tortoiseshell she-cat with yellow eyes. She is small and short-furred like Bleedingheart, but appears to be of a much healthier size in comparison._

**Warriors:**

Grimdark- A long-furred black and white tom with a mysterious tuft of black fur on the top of his head, which covers his left eye. His pelt is horrifically matted, as he hardly grooms.

_**Apprentice:**__ Mary Sue-An unnaturally cheerful ex-kittypet with neon green fur that is specked with pink. Her eyes change colour every five seconds and she apparently is a pure-bred Birman. She also has a rainbow star on her forehead, along with one extra paw sticking out of her stomach, which makes her 'special'._

Featherfeather- An average looking brown tabby she-cat with green eyes. She is Stormstorm and _'s sister.

Stormstorm- An average looking brown tabby tom with green eyes. He is Featherfeather and _'s brother.

_**Apprentice: **__Spitpaw- A lithe blue-grey tom with yellow eyes. Each of his legs is adorned with a round, red birthmark._

_- An average looking brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, a trait which makes her 'unique' among her siblings. To ensure that she remains the undisputed queen of 'unique-ness', _ has given herself a tail scar, dyed her left forepaw red with berry juice, and adopted a lilac kittypet collar, which she claims is upcycled. (Spoiler: Her given name is Snowflake.)

Pinkeye- A small she-cat with cream-coloured fur- which only serves to make the conjunctivitis perpetually plaguing her right eye all the more noticeable. Consequently, no fur grows around her afflicted eye, and it has turned from green to a pale pink.

Halfheart- A limp grey she-cat lacking in conviction, as well as fur; her tabby pelt is patchy, and her yellow eyes are surprisingly dull.

Breakingdawn- A pitch (she prefers the term "midnight")-black she-cat with a sleek pelt that sparkles in the sunlight. She has brown eyes.

Hillbilly- A short-furred brown tabby tom with large green eyes and a friendly face. Despite his hulking size, he has the demeanour of being approachable.

Slagface- An attractive silver tabby she-cat with blue eyes. Her beautifully fluffy tail compliments her long, silky fur.

Dogbreath- A dark brown tom with comically lanky legs for his hefty torso. That said- his pale blue eyes somehow serve to make him look menacing.

Whitenight- A pure white she-cat with piercing green eyes and a smooth pelt. Her severity is somewhat lessened by her small size.

Pipedream- A rust brown tom with grey-blue eyes and a perpetually dazed expression.

Goosestep- A field-grey tom with piercing blue eyes, and a rather stiff and polished walk. He has one large battle scar on his left cheek, and several smaller ones on his neck, reminiscent of the dueling scars so often seen on the aristocrats of old. All four of his paws are black, as though they were booted feet.

_**Apprentice: **__Trenchpaw- A small, black streaked, muddy-brown tom with pale green eyes. Nothing special, except for the black marking above his muzzle, granting him the appearance of being __moustachioed__._

Goldenshowers- A tom whose white pelt is dotted with patches of golden-orange. He has amber eyes.

**Queens:**

Kinkneck- Poster-child of why inbreeding is bad. A tortoiseshell she-cat with amber eyes, she was born with a strangely angled neck which permanently tilts at a forty-five degree angle, making it impossible for her to become a warrior.

**Kits: Cornkit, Moonkit, Grapekit, Marshkit**

Longheat- A solid-looking fawn tabby she-cat with green eyes. Like Starstar, she also possesses long fur and a set of fine whiskers. Her slightly chunky body is offset by her plumy tail.

**Elders:**

Yellowstream- A tan-furred ticked tabby tom with green eyes. Due to his old age, he has become incontinent (and foul-smelling), leading his name to be changed from Yellowspots to Yellowstream. On a completely related note, apprentices hate changing his bedding.

Silentbreeze- A white tom with blue eyes, he believes brevity is wit. And he is witty; which is why he chooses not to talk, communicating with others through the emission of noxious gases.

Twoleg- A crotchety she-cat who lost her left foreleg and right hind leg in an unfortunate incident involving twoleg technology, forcing her into an early retirement. She has pale yellow-brown fur and amber eyes.

Windbag- A she-cat so ancient that forty-seven percent of her fur has fallen off, leaving patches of wrinkled pink in her already ragged grey tabby pelt. She used to have yellow eyes, but old age has caused cataracts to form, causing them to take on a shade of milky white.


End file.
